What sparks joy for you?

So many organizing, de cluttering, self-help gurus tell you to think about what sparks joy for you.

Declutter by getting rid of things that don’t bring you joy…

When overwhelmed by the chaos or demanding schedule – such as it is- of your life, focus only on the things that meet your basic needs or spark joy in your life.

It’s true that by eliminating things that don’t bring you joy, you will make room for more joy… But it is also true that experiencing joy can be a mindset shift.

We can become blind to, or stop noticing the joyful things in our lives. There is a reason the figure of speech “stop and smell the roses” is so poignant. So how do we experience more joy without purging things that once brought us joy but doesn’t right now? Or when we can’t eliminate everything from our busy lives that is not joyful?

Mindful experiences can help. Practising gratitude… Acknowledging joyful things in our lives…

Help to feel the joy we’ve become blind to.

So, what would happen if we left our headphones at home while out walking the dog? What if we made a point of noticing the colours of the newly blossoming cherry trees along the way… rather than the latest news podcast or music blasting in our ear buds?

Gratitude sparks joy

What if we took a few moments everyday to note (in a journal like I am writing this in right now) just 2 small things – one that I am grateful for and one that sparks joy in me?

Here are just a few of the things I’ve made note of recently…

  • my dog’s excitement to see me after 5 hours… 5 days… 5 minutes…
  • my competent & reliable staff team
  • memories of childhood captured in my dad’s photographs
  • tasty ice cream treats
  • sunshine and sand or dirt beneath my toes
  • three day weekends

Practise Gratitude / Finding Joy

Not only does this practise make me more likely to look for the joy and/or things I’m thankful for… but it also creates a stronger authentic connection to myself and the things around me each day.

If you wanted to be more connected to your joy, what joy would you make note of right now?

#sparksjoy #findthejoy #practisegratitude #gratitude #journal #gratitudehournal #joyfulconnections #authenticconnections

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Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at trish at trishblogs dot com, or use my contact form.

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Connections with memories

Connections that we form with people and the world around us have a huge impact on us as individuals. Over our lifespan we see many of our social connections (friends and family) come and go. It’s inevitable that relationships change over the years, but we will always have that time, those memories, and a foundation of connections that we can return to in our minds and emotions.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”  ~Dr. Seuss

Revisit memories

I’ve been converting old family photos and slides to digital format recently. Then I’m curating them to preserve our family stories. 

Just making connections with memories in photographs again takes me back to a place where I can relive the feelings/emotions from those days. It’s not exactly the same feeling as the being there in real time but it can be a close second – if you allow it to be. 

Just as visualization exercises can mimic the experience enough to have an impact on our brains and emotions, so too can connections with memories.

That’s why it is so important to practise living in the moment – both during real time events and when recalling memories.

Sensory memory triggers

Sensory experiences with links to my past stories like smells or sounds (i.e. music or the sound of someone’s voice) elicit a nearly involuntary response. Flashbacks are triggered in a vivid way. 

But photos I find require a little more intentionality. I suspect it has something to do with perspective. First, they are two dimensional. Second, they often are taken from someone else’s perspective. Especially if we appear in the photos ourself.

Allowing the time and headspace to “re-live” the event can elicit the same emotions of the experience itself.

This photo of my siblings and I takes me right back to one of our cross country adventures. We were moving for a posting with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police force from the North West Territories to Nova Scotia. We drove south to Vancouver and then East. The trek took weeks with countless stops along the way, visiting family and friends that we hadn’t seen in years. It was a time when we were each other’s playmates and closest friends. This photo reminds me of the move, but more importantly of the connection I felt with my family and the places and people we visited along the way.

Do you have any photos or other mementos that you could intentionally relive the emotions of the past through?

#authenticconnections #familystories #memorykeeping # phototherapy

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Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at trish at trishblogs dot com, or use my contact form.

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Authentic Connection

Do you know how it feels to be disconnected from everything around you… while continuing to go through the motions? Have you found yourself without authentic connections? Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people, while feeling completely alone? 

Depression & Anxiety

Many call this a symptom of depression and/or anxiety… along with: feeling blue; irritability; lack of interest in things we normally are interested in; fatigue; agitation; sleeplessness; trouble concentrating; etc. 

Studies have identified loneliness and lost connections with others as a cause, not a symptom [of depression or anxiety]. This will come as no surprise to most of us who have lived with challenges of mental/emotional health. 

Loneliness

Humans need social connections to thrive. We know that the downward trend of our authentic connections with others has been happening while there have also been increased rates of depression and anxiety. There is often a direct link. Loneliness = poorer emotional and physical health. So what is the antidote? More authentic connections (relationships) in our lives. But how do we make this happen when we feel so disconnected?

Relationships with friends & family

Authentic Connections
Photo by Karl Magnuson on Unsplash

When my children were young we had just moved for my [then] husband’s work with the military. We had a roller coaster relationship. We moved to an entirely new community and province. And then he was deployed.

I felt alone and struggled with the blues but I knew that I needed friends around me. While the girls’ dad was deployed just months after we moved, I immersed myself in our community – the military family resource centre became our second home. We made friends and helped one another through difficult times.

My parents were hugely supportive and I counted on them to talk about the important things – and the small day-to-day things – when contact with our deployed soldiers was so limited.

I joined mom & tot groups, attended art classes, went to special events, and I volunteered.

It was thanks to those friends, and my parents, that I no longer felt so lonely and that depression was not long lasting.

Authentic connections

Now I know that’s over simplification. But it many ways it is just that simple. Spend time connecting with friends and family and we will naturally reap the benefits of authentic connections. 

Making new friends and having a close supportive relationship with family doesn’t just happen. It takes effort and intentional living. But it is one of the most effective and easiest solutions to loneliness, and the negative effects of it in our lives. 

When is the last time you reached out to a friend?

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Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at trish at trishblogs dot com, or use my contact form.

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Lost legacy stories

We lost a lot of the legacy stories when we lost my mom seven years ago, it was sudden. She was sick for 8 weeks with what was later determined to be pancreatic cancer. 

Mom was the glue of the family. She also knew the family stories better than anyone. Unfortunately, as much as we’d intended to, we didn’t get them written down. 

Photos & albums

We had lots of family photos which mom had divided between her & dad’s for their family albums, and each of us kids. But given how young she was when she died we did not anticipate running out of time to get the stories recorded. 

Legacy Stories in chaos
Legacy Stories in chaos

Heirlooms

I inherited a lot of family heirlooms after she died and mom was the only one who knew which grandmother the depression glass belonged to, or who the bone china tea cup came from… I wish I’d written the stories down when she told me before. 

Recorded stories & backup files

One thing I *have* made time for is keeping my children’s photos organized and documented. They are in scrapbooks with journaling to document the who, what, where & when…. film photos printed & mounted in scrapbooks, negatives safely stored, digital photos in printed books, and digital images backed up. There is a gap of about 3 years that I need to go back and fill. And my own photos from prior, as well as the ones from my mom still need to be curated. But I still wish I had those other stories recorded to share with my girls.

A friend of mine once had her laptop stolen, on which all of her photos were stored, and was the only copy. Since then, I’ve been extra careful to backup all photos. And I’ve spent time getting them organized, and still have gaps to work on, but now that I have a system it’s so much easier to maintain things.

I have them up-to-date and in printed photo books up to 2018. I love that. And I hope to get caught up on the rest soon.

Lost legacy stories

Do you know anyone who was devastated by the loss of family legacy stories? Did it motivate you to get your own safeguarded? Do you have tips to share? Or questions about how to do so?

Use the comment section below to share yours!

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Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at trish at trishblogs dot com, or use my contact form!

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Family traditions

What family traditions do you have and share?

There was a time when one of our family traditions was that I wrote a lengthy newsy letter to include in Christmas cards that I mailed. I’m not sure when or why I stopped the practise. It wasn’t just that I stopped mailing cards. For a while I sent my annual family newsletter via email.

Holiday cards

My mom used to do so as well only she called hers “Holiday cards”. They never made it in the mail in time for Christmas.

We’d run through the past year chronicling the highlights. We’d share the highlghts of each family members’ adventures and misadventures.

This year in an effort to connect better with loved ones I decided to revive one of the family traditions. Only I chose to go back even further to the days when we hand-wrote most of our correspondence. Rather than send the same family newsletter to each recipient, we wrote a personal note to each.

Snail mail

I wanted to include a short hand-written note with each card. After about 4 cards I had to mail them off as is, in order for the rest to arrive on time.

If I were to revive the whole tradition I’d write a newsletter about our bi-annual family New Year’s Eve party (kid-focused); my oldest’s learning to drive and her new-to-her car; my youngest’s move to the much bigger English high school, but remaining in French (immersion instead of francophone); how the girls continue to perform: signing in music productions; and their busy schedules with dance and part-time jobs; they’ve added tutoring to the repertoire this year. And I’d share how lucky we’ve been to have a new member of our family since summer of last year; and how his family includes us all and makes us feel like part of their family.

For the first time in years I planned a vacation (without kids) and had a great travel companion to come with me. My youngest did some of her own traveling this summer, flying unaccompanied for the first time and spent two weeks away from home.

It’s really been a pretty fantastic year!

What family traditions mean the most to you?

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Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun or email me at trish at trishblogs dot com!

I invite you to subscribe to my blog using one of the options available on my page (email, rss, Google Connect, like my page on Facebook, etc.)

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