12 in 12, Month 1 Day 4, OR “2×15 = 30”

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Sometimes you just do what it takes to make things happen. If your commitments are important enough to you, you realize that it is all about choices, taking control of you life in whatever small way necessary and making it work.

Yesterday I had two medical appointments and obligations to fill as Moms Taxi, in addition to new furniture arriving and belongings needing to be re-organized back up off of the floor. So the likelihood of my fitting in a 30 minute walk were slim. However, 15 + 15 = 30, so how about two short walks? I set the rules here, and this is what works for me. So I park 15+ minutes walk from one appointment and walk to and from the car to the office. Walking… done!

What do you do to fit in those important, but all to often pushed to the back-burner activities?

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Filed Under: 12in12, balance, Gratitude, Health & Fitness Tagged With: , ,

Therapeutic serenity

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From Family 2011
From Family 2011
Filed Under: Gratitude, Photos, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Losing control & finding your balance

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In the face of uncontrollable challenges balance comes in managing that which can be.

Until recently life was very demanding but manageable. It has since reached my limit with another uncontrollable and emotionally charged journey. My balance came first in recognizing my limits and taking steps to prevent breaching them. A leave from work has allowed me the time I had previously struggled to find to take care of me.

I assured my doctor that the time would be spent wisely, making it a priority to nurture myself while working through all of life’s obligations and desires as a mother, spouse, sister, daughter, homemaker and friend.

When a loved one has a chronic illness and becomes a closer integral part of your immediate nucleus things can and do change drastically. When living arrangements accommodate that there is additional change. Add that to life’s everyday challenges and then another loved one becomes suddenly and seriously ill. It can seem impossible to cope.

We recently faced our loved one’s diagnosis of cancer. Our lives have turned upside down in so many ways, while we grasp at every sense of normalcy that we can. It is too easy to become consumed with the illness, too easy to forget that we are still here together … we must make this our time, now.

Those of you who have been there know how truly it does change your perspective. Life becomes precious. Life becomes finite. Life becomes its meaning. We must experience life with our eyes wide open, with all of our senses receiving and our minds fully aware.

How do you balance life when it creeps out of your control?

From Drop Box

I don’t have the answers. I can only do what feels right for me.

In an attempt to prevent chronic pain from escalating too severely I am pursuing a better daily routine of activity. Each day I try to include something physical, from yoga to fitness classes, to walking (perhaps even a swim or a bike ride). Each day I make time to read and/or write. I have some other projects that I try to fit in once in a while like photography/editing and scrapbooking. It is never enough. But I do my best.

I am watching what I eat, talking with family and friends, and trying to keep my family focused on a healthy balance of living while also trying to fight the devastating effects of this awful disease.

It’s a natural tendency to fall back into the despair, the fear, and the pain… Back into the unfairness of it all. We have to consciously choose to take cancer off the table at times and simply live.

For the benefit of all we must make it a priority to live life.

Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at ceilidho at ceilidhontherun dot com, or use my contact form!

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Filed Under: Cancer, General, Gratitude, Health & Fitness, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , ,

Making the most of our (limited) summer

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Halifax weather has been really helpful lately if you come from the mindset that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Today it was time to finally take advantage of beautiful weather and hit the beach.

We’ve had remarkably few beach weather days so far this summer, and almost all of them have been spent making our house in show condition for sale. Our family of four live in a small three bedroom semi. In May my sister moved back to Nova Scotia and because of her medical condition (brittle Diabetic, and seizures) she shouldn’t live alone. She and her large shepherd/lab moved into our basement rec room until we sell our house and find a bigger one that will accommodate an in-law suite. Hence forth de-cluttering and painting projects en mass.

We had an appointment to view a house that backs onto a greenbelt around a lake (lakefront being our movin’ up requirement for moving now rather than later), at 2pm. So we headed out at 10:30 to give ourselves a couple of hours at the beach. Now, I’m not a “beach day” kind of gal. Granted I have taken my kids to the beach for the day, but I would rather go to the beach for a swim and leave when I’m done, than laze around soaking up the rays. So, we had plenty of time. An hour in the water, and it was heaven. Then an hour of snapping photos while my darling went for a 10k mid-day run on one of our warmest days this summer (no, I was not silly enough to join in on that little escapade).

The beach was packed as expected, but we snagged a great spot to park on the way into the gravel lot. Grabbed our towels and headed for sand. The water was clear, calm and warm (18Celcius for those curious to know what constitutes warm on the Atlantic coast!) We brought wetsuits, which turned out to be unnecessary (my Ian will beg to differ).

When Ian headed out for his run, I, camera in hand started wandering down the beach. I still feel awkward photographing people I don’t know, so I mostly shot clouds and gentle waves and rocks.

There is not much greater feeling of contentment than that of leaving the beach feeling exhausted from splashing around in the water with the sun beating down and warming your towels for when you get out!

Filed Under: General, Gratitude, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Progress in this journey we call life

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After missing so many weeks of writing blog posts, it’s time to make it happen. Perhaps looking at what’s been happening recently will help me to get motivated/inspired or simply able to take action!

Life has gotten really busy, and there is a lot of progress worth noting:

  • we continue the quest to sell our house in order to move into a bigger house with capacity for an in-law suite, on lakefront. This has kept us the busiest, making improvements to the house to make it more sell-able. All are projects that were on our list that we were continuously slogging through. Since listing in May we’ve completed most, taking years off the timeline. There have been many viewings, but so far no bites.
  • My sister is settling in with us and our family is reshaping a little. It’s all good, but it sure would be nice to be done with the viewings and to have more space (and that lake to jump in every morning!)
  • I am officially closing a chapter in my life that brought a lot of heavy emotions and stress, the official documents arrived today, and court issued certificate will come in a few weeks. This is a huge weight lifted that will hopefully allow our family to move forward more.
  • Finally another sega is being closed with a settlement hopefully forthcoming in the near future from my car accident.
  • Working with my RMT, chiropractor/ART, and family physician I am getting back to a more active life, with less pain and feeling (bit by bit) more like myself again
  • I bought a new bike (upright city cruiser), and sold my mountain bike to pay for it. I can now ride without neck or shoulder pain, and have started cycle-commuting again!
  • I am becoming more involved with advocacy efforts once more
  • Contemplating my future and hopefully moving into the career I will grow with
  • with things feeling more settled I am ready for a bigger challenge, full-time work, etc.
Filed Under: General, Gratitude, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Expanding on balance, and the choices we live

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Expanding upon a previous post, my thoughts on finding balance:

Until a year ago, most of my adult life has been spent spinning – one high-stress situation to the next.

And then I turned a new leaf after nearly a decade of living on edge: first with a leave of absence ? full-time studies; then graduating from university (again). I am just learning how to function in a state of “normal”. Finally: I’m done school; my new job while meaningful is low-stress (in comparison); I have a supportive spouse settled into our life/family; we’ve had our own home (and haven’t moved) for almost three years now, and I am at home one to two days each week…

I have been in over my head so many times, with my body telling me I had to make a change even when I felt like mentally I was coping just fine. I’d have Fibromyalgia flare-ups, migraines, insomnia, etc. …all effected by – if not caused by – burning the candle at both ends.

I have always struggled with finding a balance. I love working, and have a strong desire to be a leader and innovator. On the other hand I also love having time to focus on my family. I have swung on a pendulum between wanting it all and wanting none of “it” a couple of times before finally coming to the decision that I simply cannot. I cannot have “it” all. I won’t be happy with one extreme or the other. So I made a conscious decision to seek a middle ground: part-time employee and part-time at-home parent.

This was not an easy choice. I had to give up the desire to be in charge. Not being woken for urgent calls, not having to rearrange everything in my life for a crisis at work, not scrambling to get my children taken care of, not having to fix everyone else’s problems… these are benefits to my overall well being that are worth making sacrifices for.

Life is almost in perfect balance now. With a part-time, meaningful job in my field, and the ability to be flexible enough to meet my children’s needs (with the help of my very dedicated spouse) I am more content than I have been for years. I still find myself (often) straying down that familiar path of needing to be busier, more involved and more successful. I have to reign myself in. In an attempt to cater to my desire for more I have given myself permission to become involved in some personal projects that I can work on at whatever pace works for me at the time. This means when I have too much on my plate those projects take a back seat, but when things slow down they are there for me to pick back up again. 🙂

Balance is whatever works for you. Some people thrive on careers and find balance in hiring nurturing caregivers that become part of their family. Others choose not to have children at all. Some choose parenthood over the workforce and might return to a career later in life, if ever. I have chosen a middle ground. I may never make the big goals of my career, but I also will not have regrets about spending more time with my family.

Mostly, balance requires accepting the choices we make,while acknowledging that we are the lucky ones. In Canada, there are few things in life that most of us do not have some sort of choice about.

Filed Under: Gratitude, Health & Fitness Tagged With: ,

Life’s balance, demands and sacrifices / “Left Neglected” response

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I just finished a great book that demonstrated some of my own take on the need for balance in life. Left Neglected is about a corporate mom, with a highly successful and demanding career, living a very fast-paced life with her husband and three children. She is forced to change everything when she has a car accident (because of using her cell phone while driving) and becomes a rehabilitation patient with Left Neglect.

My life was certainly never as fast-paced as hers, nor was the extent of the impact that a demanding life had on me physically. I did however find myself in over my head, with my body telling me I had to make a change. Fibromyalgia, flare-ups, migraines, insomnia, etc. …all are effected by- if not caused by – burning the candle at both ends.

I have always struggled with finding a balance. I love working, and have a strong desire to be a leader and innovator. On the other hand I also love having time to focus on my family. I swung on a pendulum between wanting it all and wanting none of “it” a couple of times before finally coming to the decision that I simply cannot have it all, and won’t be happy with one extreme or the other. So I made a conscious decision to seek a middle ground: part-time employee and part-time at-home parent.

For me life is almost in perfect balance. With a part-time, meaningful job in my field, and the ability to be flexible enough to meet my children’s needs (with the help of my very dedicated spouse) I am more content than I have been for years. I still find myself (often) straying down the path of needing to be busier, and more successful – I have to reign myself in. I have given myself permission to become involved in some personal projects that I can work on at whatever pace works for me at the time. This means sometimes when I have too much on my plate they must take a back burner, but when things slow down they are there for me to pick back up again. 🙂

Balance is whatever works for you. Some people thrive on their careers and find balance in hiring nurturing caregivers that become part of the family. Others choose not to have children at all. Some choose parenthood over the workforce and might return to a career later in life, if ever.

Mostly balance requires accepting the choices we make,while acknowledging that we are the lucky ones. There are few things in life that we don’t have some sort of choice in.

*Left Neglected, by Lisa Genova was provided by Simon & Schuster Canada as a complimentary copy, for participation in the EverythingMom.com National Book Club.

Filed Under: Books, Gratitude, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: ,

Goal planning for 2011

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Not being one to make resolutions, I look at the new year as a time to make a fresh start. I am always working towards improving my quality of life in all areas, from health and fitness, to mental well being. It’s nice every once in a while to re-evaluate and establish new goals and simply hit reboot. It doesn’t matter where you were at the end of 2010, it’s a new year now and we have a new starting point to work from in 2011.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that small successes along the way help to motivate me to work towards my goals, so I need to make them achievable within reasonable time frames. When I can check a goal off the list I can then move onto the next goal with confidence. I may have a big picture agenda in mind, but the goals I work on tend to be small and measurable if they are going to help me move forward on my larger agenda.

Some of plans include getting back into a regular fitness routine; continuing my growth in photography; reading more great books; working on my own small business projects; travel; organizing; and more. I’m going to start walking and running again; do a 365 project in photography; take a course in using photoshop; read a mixture of fiction and non-fiction while participating in one or two book clubs; add more content to my website and monetize it; continue blogging regularly and add some creative writing; make a short trip to BC then take my family to Florida; set up a better workspace for myself at home…

Each of these require a plan and small goals with deadlines. I need to spend a few days figuring out just what will work for me (realistically) while still providing a bit of a challenge. Without taking risks and being challenged, there is no growth.

How do you approach your goal planning and execution? Are you a resolution sort of person, or more of an ongoing work in progress? Or perhaps you do a bit of both? I invite you to share some of your goals in the comments section. Let’s make changes happen together!

Filed Under: Gratitude, Health & Fitness, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

A Princess story

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My children have always loved for me to make up stories to tell them at bedtime. I’m always so tired at the end of the day that I’m not feeling very creative. I usual just regurgitate recent events and something that I want them to do. For instance: Once upon their were two little Princesses. Today the Princesses went shopping with their Queen Mommy. They bought groceries and helped put them away. They have a busy week before Christmas and so tonight they are going to close their eyes and go straight to sleep so that they have all the rest they need for the festivities!

Here’s my latest post, a little twist on my storytelling to them, which they haven’t heard yet:

Once upon a time, there were two little Princesses. They lived in a little white duplex in the suburbs with their Queen Mommy and their King Bonus Dad.

Queen Mommy wanted nothing more for her two Princesses than for them to live a happy life knowing that they can, and should, be all that they wish…

Queen Mommy always wanted to be a writer, but instead took the “safe” route, studying closer to home and working toward a more secure, stable, and employable career. She became a preschool teacher. She could always get a job, but often struggled to earn very much. Then she became a mom. The most rewarding, and demanding, and sometimes unappreciated of her career-choices. Eventually she became a social worker. She loves her new career, but still yearns to write for a living.

Queen Mommy recently started blogging to get back in the practice of writing, so that she can one day write something very creative. She blogged about many different things. Sometimes she wrote about her life with her Princesses and their King Bonus Dad.

Queen Mommy wanted her Princesses to know that they had the entire world at their fingertips. And if they really want to, that they can change the world. That they could choose to be anyone, do anything, and live anywhere. That they could envision a world like nothing they’d ever seen, and make their world become more like they wish.

She encouraged them to try many activities, to read everyday, and to enjoy learning. They could be dancers, writers, dentists, photographers, housekeepers, painters, cyclists, runners, sketch artists, mathematicians… Friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, spouses… They could live in rural Nova Scotia, an urban city in Europe, settle down, move frequently, travel often, or enjoy quiet solitude…

Their family spent much of their free time being active together, going for walks and bike rides, and seeing new sites… One year Queen Mommy and King Bonus Dad took the Princesses to many different museums. They loved learning about and seeing so many new things. They often read books together and talked about what happened in the books. When they wanted to know something new they researched together in books and online and shared what they found out.

Queen Mommy often reminded her Princesses that nobody is perfect (not even Queen Mommy). We all make mistakes and if we learn from them then they were worth making.

And so her Princesses will one day be all that they wish to be (and more). All they have to do is try!

“Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.”
–Anon.

Filed Under: Gratitude, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Make the pledge with me! Appreciate someone today!

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I was speaking with a co-worker yesterday about the tendency in our line of work to occasionally envision a more satisfying job doing something “happy”. You know where the purpose of your job is not to help people fix their problems (like many of us social workers do) but instead to further their happiness (i.e. in hospitality). One thing I’ve noted when working in other areas is that I don’t have patience for the complainers or the sense of urgency people have. After having worked in truly urgent environments, my immediate reaction is to think “no one is dieing here!”

We’re all guilty of complaining, of having high expectations, or not showing our appreciation for the successful things, yet making a big deal out of small errors, faults or omissions.

There are lots of similar movements out there, but I’d like to challenge you to make a point every day of complimenting someone for a job well done. Thank the barista for the hot coffee and the smile; tell you hairdresser how much you value their special touches (like that scalp massage); thank your doctor for seeing you on short notice…

To take it up a notch: do so publicly.

And to add to the challenge, for every compliant you make in a day, try to make one additional positive remark to someone that day.

Make your pledge with me to share with someone how they have added to the joy in your day/life… tell a friend/co-worker/family member/service provider you know something you appreciate about them.  Do it now!

Filed Under: Gratitude, West Nova Family Tagged With: , ,
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