My 10-yr-old daughter joins me in the fight for diabetes research & support!

by

Help us raise funds for Team Diabetes Bluenose 5K!  This year my 10-year-old daughter has decided she’d like to join in.  Breanna ran the Bluenose Youth run last year and has decided that this year she wants to run for the cause and enter the 5K event!  You can make a donation in support of this cause at the links below.  :)

You can read about my 2010 Team D Bluenose 10K here!

I have once again joined Team Diabetes, a team of people from across Canada who will be crossing the finish line together and who have raised funds to support the more than 2 million Canadians living with diabetes. I will be on the course of the Bluenose Marathon 10K in Halifax, NS on 23 May 2010.

It takes dedication to be part of Team Diabetes, but I am committed to making a big difference in my life, and in the fight against type 1 and type 2 diabetes.

One of the greatest contributions of the Canadian Diabetes Association is toward outstanding Canadian research. But that is not all the Association does – it runs camps for young people with diabetes and provides education and special services to people affected by diabetes in communities across Canada.

Please help me to support people like my sister, Dana, who was diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic 4 years ago (at the age of 30) and suffers numerous health complications due to Diabetes.

As I run the course, you will be with me in spirit and your support will help me be strong all the way to the finish line. A donation for each kilometre is suggested, but whatever you can contribute matters – it all adds up!

To support Breanna on her run, please click here: TBA

If you want to support my mission, please click https://ocp.diabetes.ca/pledge/cspledge.asp?prId=td&oId=1155480&tId=16205

Thank you so much for your generosity!

Trish

Filed Under: Advocacy, Health & Fitness, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , ,

A Princess story

by

My children have always loved for me to make up stories to tell them at bedtime. I’m always so tired at the end of the day that I’m not feeling very creative. I usual just regurgitate recent events and something that I want them to do. For instance: Once upon their were two little Princesses. Today the Princesses went shopping with their Queen Mommy. They bought groceries and helped put them away. They have a busy week before Christmas and so tonight they are going to close their eyes and go straight to sleep so that they have all the rest they need for the festivities!

Here’s my latest post, a little twist on my storytelling to them, which they haven’t heard yet:

Once upon a time, there were two little Princesses. They lived in a little white duplex in the suburbs with their Queen Mommy and their King Bonus Dad.

Queen Mommy wanted nothing more for her two Princesses than for them to live a happy life knowing that they can, and should, be all that they wish…

Queen Mommy always wanted to be a writer, but instead took the “safe” route, studying closer to home and working toward a more secure, stable, and employable career. She became a preschool teacher. She could always get a job, but often struggled to earn very much. Then she became a mom. The most rewarding, and demanding, and sometimes unappreciated of her career-choices. Eventually she became a social worker. She loves her new career, but still yearns to write for a living.

Queen Mommy recently started blogging to get back in the practice of writing, so that she can one day write something very creative. She blogged about many different things. Sometimes she wrote about her life with her Princesses and their King Bonus Dad.

Queen Mommy wanted her Princesses to know that they had the entire world at their fingertips. And if they really want to, that they can change the world. That they could choose to be anyone, do anything, and live anywhere. That they could envision a world like nothing they’d ever seen, and make their world become more like they wish.

She encouraged them to try many activities, to read everyday, and to enjoy learning. They could be dancers, writers, dentists, photographers, housekeepers, painters, cyclists, runners, sketch artists, mathematicians… Friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, spouses… They could live in rural Nova Scotia, an urban city in Europe, settle down, move frequently, travel often, or enjoy quiet solitude…

Their family spent much of their free time being active together, going for walks and bike rides, and seeing new sites… One year Queen Mommy and King Bonus Dad took the Princesses to many different museums. They loved learning about and seeing so many new things. They often read books together and talked about what happened in the books. When they wanted to know something new they researched together in books and online and shared what they found out.

Queen Mommy often reminded her Princesses that nobody is perfect (not even Queen Mommy). We all make mistakes and if we learn from them then they were worth making.

And so her Princesses will one day be all that they wish to be (and more). All they have to do is try!

“Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.”
–Anon.

Filed Under: Gratitude, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

I’m a Mommy Blogger? really?

by

My children have changed my life. There is never any doubt about this. Of course, it has happened in the most obvious ways – I get woken in the middle of the night, I require childcare arrangements before I can make my child-free activity plans, my home is cluttered with toys and items strewn about where they left them…

But I tend to talk about how they changed my life in more obtuse ways. I used to be very controlling. Now some might argue I still am, but I know otherwise. 😉 Becoming a mother has meant that eventually I started to let go of that control, little bit by little bit. At first I totally bucked it, and everything that my ex-husband did that was counter to what I wanted to control became a much larger problem. After we split up, I was forced to let go even more. I *could* attempt to control the way things work when they are not at home with me, when they are at their dad’s on weekends and vacations, but to what end? While I have mostly let go. (I’ll admit to lapsing a few times and making a big issue out of something I deemed worthwhile). I’m not saying it was easy, but it has gotten easier.

My children have also helped me to get better at setting all work aside and just being. We will take days and do nothing but spend time together as a family. Of course, being a mom has brought about much work that forces me to not be so care-free, but I value the time spent simply living life, so much more, especially when I do it with the people who I care about most in my life.

They have also given me a much greater appreciation for the ability to care so deeply for another person that you are willing to sacrifice anything for their protection.

Many people define themselves as a parent first, a person/woman/man/other identity second. I have done the same on many occasions. And depending upon the circumstances, I sometimes still do today. When it comes right down to it, being a good mom is the most critical part of being me today. But something being a mother has taught me, is that I need to be ME, first. I can’t be the best mother/spouse/friend/etc. I can be, if I don’t allow myself time to nurture my being.

It is through this need to take care of myself that I re-started a lot of activities that I love. I started running through a need for self-care during a critical time in my (unofficially, still – but that’s another story) former marriage. I went back to school, as a single parent, to improve my chances at a meaningful career. I re-started my hobby with photography when I graduated from University recently. I started writing again because I realized that the exercise of writing once was an integral part of my being. It is because of my children that I had the motivation to be a better me.

So, it is ironic to me, that most people would refer to me as a mommy blogger. While I do occasionally write about my experiences as a mom, or about my children; and while I AM a mother I do not think of myself as a mommy blogger. I blog because writing allows me to ground myself. I write of the many things that I value. I write as an exercise in separating my identity from my outward responsibilities. I think of myself as a blogger, yes; as a mother, without doubt; but as a mommy blogger? I just don’t think it fits.

Do we identify ourselves as mommy nurses, mommy doctors, mommy bus drivers, mommy teachers, mommy police officers, etc.? Generally the mommy descriptor only applies if it is integral to the work we do. Sure I’ve blogged about being a mom. But I also have blogged about running, fundraising for a cause, photography, Nova Scotia, Halifax, poverty… the list goes on. I don’t think anyone would define me as a running blogger (I once blogged only about my efforts at fitness, so at that time it may have applied); or a photography blogger (by any stretch). If I were to define my blogging it would be about life, and perhaps leaning on the edge towards social change.

When I blog I am hoping to connect with people from all walks of life. People who care about life. People who want life to be better for generations to come. This applies to mothers, to be certain. But it also applies to fathers, grandparents, aunts & uncles, friends, caregivers, children, and on and on and on…

Yes, I am a mother. Yes, I am a blogger. Must they be one and the same?

Filed Under: Advocacy, General, Gratitude, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

The problem with my bookworm (or how my childhood is biting me on the A$$)

by

My mother will love reading this.

Do you remember those days when you heard “just wait until you have children of your own”?

This stuff is small potatoes, but I really feel like I’m reliving what my mother went through with me when I was the very same age as my darling 9 year old daughter is.

She’s a bookworm. I LOVE that she is a bookworm. I’m a bookworm.

From 2010JulAug

She’s a big sleeper. I’m an insomniac. Lately she’s been waking with huge dark circles under her eyes and behaving like a bear most of the time. She goes to bed without trouble, she doesn’t get up repeatedly with stalling tactics, she’s APPARENTLY getting as much sleep as usual. Maybe she needs an earlier bedtime than previously?

No. I’ve discovered the cause.

When I was her age, I read so much that my parents actually had to limit my access. They tried turning out the hall light (I would huddle at the end of my bed, reading by the stream of light coming in the crack of the door) and who knows how many other tactics. Finally they removed my bookshelf and all of my books except one. I was so addicted to reading, I’d just read the same book over and over, with a flashlight hidden under the covers of my bed (so that no light would escape and be visible from under the crack of my door).

My daughter has been turning on her bedside lamp and reading. Some nights she gets away with it and has fallen asleep with the book in her hand by the time I go check on her. So I started leaving her bedroom door open a crack, with no hall light on. Last week her Bonus Dad discovered a flashlight being put to use to read. Last night I heard the click of her door closing, so I went up to investigate. She had glow bracelets under her pillow and was attempting to open the blinds and let the light from the streetlight stream in her window.

What could I say? What could I do? I SO understand this burning desire to read. I still fight it to this day, staying up past my bedtime because I just want a few more minutes with my book. Being an insomniac this is not a good thing. I have a strict scheduled bedtime for a reason. But I also know how hard it is to get those good sleep habits back, and do not want my daughter going about her days in a overtired stupor.

I explained to her how much she needs her sleep, and how she can read for as much of the day as she likes, during waking hours. The things is, she can’t possibly read much more than she does. Like me she carries a book around with her everywhere she goes. I believe like me she’d read while walking, cycling and playing, if she could do so safely.

I’m really not complaining. I know this is the best problem we could have if it’s the worst of our troubles. But, how do I encourage her to get the sleep she so desperately needs?

I’m hoping someone has a really great suggestion.

Filed Under: General, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Homework hell

by

This will come as a surprise to many who know me (but not to those who know me REALLY WELL), but I’ve had to work really hard to gain back my self-esteem. Granted, it’s been a long time since I’ve become my former confident self, once again.

So it really burns me when something happens that takes me back to a place of doubting myself. How is it that a teacher who has known my child less than a month can bring me there, with one short phone call? I know it’s not her intention, but it’s truly where my head goes.

I don’t even want to get into the homework discussion right now, that’s a topic I am determined to write a poignant well-researched and targeted article about. But what’s burning me is that if homework is an issue for my 9 year old, it’s my fault. She doesn’t get it done because I don’t make it our priority. Sure, it’s her work, but how many 9 year olds will choose homework over biking? Homework over playing with the neighborhood kids? Homework over gymnastics club? Homework over Harry Potter? Homework over time with her mom? Homework over… well, anything?

If homework is going to get done, it will be because I, “the parent”, am disciplined enough to ask my child upon walking in the door (at whatever time of day that might be, but that’s another discussion for another day about today’s family obligations) “what’s for homework”? And it will get done because I, “the parent”, establish an expectation of her getting it done over doing anything else.

I’ll save my opinion of what takes priority in my house for another article. This one is about me, and my self-esteem. When my child feels bad about herself for not getting her homework done when the teacher does her rounds, it’s a reflection on me and what a poor mother I am.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not taking this to heart. I don’t hold myself up to some standard set by the teacher of the day (or year, in this case). But I resent the expectation that this is somehow my responsibility. So, if the only real purpose to these exercises are to form “good habits”, if my daughter is too young to form this habit completely independently, then is she really learning anything from it? Well, yes she is. She’s learning that her teacher and her mom are in cahoots and that if she wants to feel good about herself, her mom needs to make her sit down and do pointless repetitive exercises so that she can go to school and say “yes’M I got my homework done!”

Just whose self-esteem are we really talking about here?

Filed Under: Advocacy, Parenting Tagged With: , , , ,

Cooking for the Rushed: great cookbooks!

by

I am no Foodie. In fact I find the daily cooking to be a chore I rarely look forward to. I do enjoy (VERY occasionally) planning and preparing a big dinner for a group (i.e. family holidays). But otherwise, it’s not my favourite activity. That being said I am a health-conscious mom and an environmentally conscious citizen. I want to feed my family healthy choices, and use sustainable, nutritious food. We’re not vegetarian, but we don’t eat large quantities of meat. We eat mostly organic, and local produce from a farm share.

This spring my friends introduced me to Sandi Richard: Cooking for the Rushed, who has the program “Fixing Dinner” on Canada’s “Food Network”. We’re not TV watchers, and we haven’t got cable (or satellite) television, so I had no idea who she was or what she did. Her system of weekly menu plans with master grocery lists are ingenious! I had been attempting to be organized, making my own weekly plans, but had never thought to go the extra step with preparing master grocery lists. As soon as I had the chance I ordered the only two books available through Indigo online at the time: “The Family Dinner Fix” and “Dinner Survival”. I love them!

For the spring and early summer we have been eating fantastic and rarely felt that awful end of day “what are we going to feed these kids” crankiness that was often overcoming me previously (and had prompted my own attempts at menu planning). We’ve eaten variety, usually had plenty of leftovers in the fridge for packing lunches, and tried many new things! Then summer rolled around and our farm share harvests really revved up again. I began to find the menus more challenging. While the cookbooks offer great variety, nutritional value and interest, they are not planned around local food availability.

I have a wish now, that Sandi will make a new edition for Canadian local food consumers – or even better, for Atlantic Canadians 😉


Filed Under: Books, Health & Fitness, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Making the most of childcare – the home/childcare transition

by

Helping your child settle into child care

Many families start new childcare arrangements in the fall. It’s a hectic time for the family and for the childcare centre/provider.

One of the best ways to help everything go more smoothly is to slow down. I know this sounds ridiculous, I just said how hectic it is, but it’s sort of like the stop and smell the roses idea. Taking a few extra minutes at the beginning and end of your day will help your child settle in or make the transition back to home. The best thing to do during this time is to get to know your childcare provider and the program.

It’s amazing what building a relationship, parent to caregiver, can do for your child’s experience in care. Not only does it make it easier for parents and childcare providers when everyone is on the same page – having taken the time to debrief between transitions to/from childcare, but there is something really consequential about your child seeing parent and provider as partners in caring.

In a quality childcare environment you’ll find the providers strategically placed in the room, if there are more than one, one may be near the door and the other engrossed in the busy-ness of starting the day with the children. When there is only one provider, a quality caregiver often places themselves in a manner that is accessible to all, while giving optimum supervision of the room (and thus the children). She may have her back to the door (facing all of the children who have already started their day), but be placed very near the door, looking over and greeting families upon arrival. Take a few minutes to walk a few steps into the classroom, allow your child an opportunity to share something special that they look forward to doing that day, spend a few minutes sharing information with the childcare provider(s), and stop long enough to make just a little small talk. Ask about your providers’ evening/family, etc. Give them an opportunity to share bits of themselves that will help your child know that there is life outside of daycare, and that it’s important too!

When I notice things are especially tumultuous at the beginning of the year (more new starts than usual, an especially needy child/family, etc.) I like to offer a small token of appreciation to the providers. It might be delivering coffee on my way through to a meeting. It might be baking cookies at home for staff to share. It might be dropping off a package of reward stickers to add to the educator’s collection used for transition times. It’s sometimes sharing a story of something my child told me they loved doing at childcare the day/week prior.

By making the time to put the provider at ease by taking a personal interest in my child’s caregiver(s) I find information flows much more readily between childcare and home. Some providers are fantastic about sharing little details about the day, both the good and the bad, regardless of the parents’ approach to care. Others are afraid to bother busy parents with anything that seems insignificant or unimportant. It’s up to us, the parents and consumers of care to initiate the casual debriefing at the beginning and end of the day. And when we’ve done so effectively and consistently, then on the odd day when we are strapped for time, we can simply let child and provider know as we arrive that today time is limited and we’ll have to keep it short.

When I ask around, I find that the parents who know their childcare provider’s children’s names, or the hobby they spend their after hours engrossed in, etc. are the parents who also feel the greatest connection to the childcare program and are most satisfied with the care that they receive.

Filed Under: Childcare, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Are you scrambling for childcare?

by

Did you suddenly find out that you will need childcare after all? Did your childcare arrangements fall through? Did you have a sudden job offer that requires a near immediate start date? Perhaps it’s your first time requiring childcare and you simply had no idea how long this process could be?

Have you called all the best centers/providers only to be told there’s a long, long waiting list? Have you been on the waiting list and not received any sort of update? Do you not even know where to begin?

This can be a very overwhelming time of year for parents. Whether you require infant, preschool-age, or after school care. Whether you’re looking for full-time, part-time or flexible care. Whether you have narrowed it down to a specific type of arrangement (i.e. licensed group care, or private home-based care). And especially if you don’t even know where to begin.

The first step is determining what type of care is best for your family (licensed group, licensed dayhome, home-based caregivers, in-home/”nanny” care, family caregivers, etc.) If you are anything like me, this may need to be re-assessed based on availability of quality care, but it’s still important to know what your preferences are before beginning the search. You can find tips to get started: here . Once you’ve narrowed it down to type and preferred location, it’s time to start making phone calls. Keep a checklist of questions by the phone and when your questions are answered to your satisfaction, request a tour/meeting – even if they have (or you are already on) a waiting list.

During busy transition times (the fall is especially so) childcare centres/providers don’t always have/make time to refer to their wait lists. If a spot opens up unexpectedly (a child is moving, or a parent loses a job) sometimes it is possible to jump the line if you are in the right place at the right time. If you’ve already identified your first choice childcare provider, keep checking in with them to ensure that you are remembered.

I suggest making initial visits without your children in tow whenever possible. If you like the place enough, bring your child on a subsequent visit before committing to anything. You’ll know immediately if it’s a poor fit for your child based on their reactions (keeping in mind what is a “normal” reaction to a new situation for your child).

During your initial tour ask if you can drop-by unannounced for a second visit and if there are any particular times of day that are discouraged. If they insist on an appointment, find out why. Unless you are satisfied with the answer, this in itself may be a red flag. That being said it is not uncommon for visits during sleep times to be discouraged. It is also common to hear that the transition leading up to lunch and naptime is not an optimal time for visiting. These times of day tend to be more challenging for both staff and children in group environments.

Unannounced visits give you an opportunity to see what the facility is like during an average day. You’ll also find that during repeat visits to the centre you’ll be more likely to take note of little details that are important to you. Generally speaking if your first reaction to a centre is a negative feeling, you can almost certainly rule that option out. Some places will feel great the first time in, then subtle details may begin to stand out that identify items that are important to you.

It can sometimes feel like your choices are almost non-existent – quality childcare is in short supply everywhere, but don’t give up hope – you can find the right arrangement with a little diligence and patience. If you truly have no time left, and aren’t entirely satisfied with your choice, keep searching – remain aware of centre policies around withdrawals and move your child if you are confident you’ve found a better arrangement for your family. Above all, listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

Trish McCourt is a parent of two school-age children, consumer of childcare, and former child care centre director and early childhood educator.

Filed Under: Childcare, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , ,

Checklist for Family Childcare

by

This is a checklist that I used to have posted on my childcare website.  In the interest of not reinventing the wheel I provide it for it’s thorough suggestion of questions a parent might wish to ask their childcare provider.

Checklist for Family Child Care Homes

  • Jennifer McMillen, Corner Playhouse Child Care

The Caregiver

Does the Caregiver…

_____ have a current license from the Department of Human Services?

_____ seem to be someone that both my child I would enjoy?

_____ create an atmosphere where children feel loved and cared for?

_____ interact with children in a kind and gentle manner?

_____ listen to, talk and play with the children?

_____ have time to give each child special and personal attention?

_____ use age appropriate discipline techniques?

_____ participate in child development related training opportunities?

_____ have Infant/Child CPR training?

The Daily Schedule

Does the Schedule…

_____ allow time for children to play both quietly and actively?

_____ allow time for children to play both indoors and out?

_____ allow time for children to play both independently and cooperatively?

_____ allow time for planned activities such as singing, listening to stories, playing games, cooking and so on?

_____ limit TV time to an amount that I am comfortable with for my child?

The Environment

Do I See…

_____ a home that is safe, clean and comfortable?

_____ a special place for my child’s personal belongings?

_____ a home that looks fun and inviting to children?

_____ a selection of toys and equipment that are appropriate for the age of my child and that are in good condition?

_____ adequate space for children to play both indoors and out?

_____ a selection of toys and materials that interest and stimulate children?

_____ a menu, complete with meals and snacks, that is nutritious and includes food that children like to eat?

_____ appropriate and clean eating, diapering and napping areas?

Personal Feeling and Impressions

As a parent, am I comfortable with…

_____ the person who will be caring for my child?

_____ the other children in the home?

_____ the home atmosphere?

_____ the caregiver’s open door policy? (For example: Am I free to stop in and visit my child any time?)

_____ the caregiver’s contract or policies?

_____ the caregiver’s pets?

_____ the caregiver’s smoking preference?

_____ the daily routine my child will follow?

_____ the location and convenience of the caregiver’s home?

_____ the hours and days care is provided?

_____ the provider’s flexibility in meeting my family’s needs?

_____ the fees and payment schedules?

_____ the arrangement for when the caregiver is sick or on vacation?

_____ the arrangement for when my child is sick?

_____ the amount of time, if any, my child will spend being transported in the caregiver’s car?

*Thanks to Jennifer McMillen, Corner Playhouse Child Care for permission to publish this checklist. For more forms and info about her home child care centre (link now broken, but I cannot find a current site to refer back to presently) go to www.cornerplayhouse.com

**After reading this in its entirety, please adapt it to meet your personal needs

Filed Under: Childcare, General, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With:

Finding the Right One – the challenge of securing quality childcare

by

Digging into my archives I found an article that I wanted to link to in my next blog entry. This is several years old, but the still applies. I’ve updated the links, since I can no longer find my own article that was referred to here.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Finding the Right One

– the challenge of securing quality childcare

I have had many people ask me how to go about finding childcare, what questions to ask, what type of care I would recommend…

I worked in most different capacities of early childhood, prior to having my first child. One thing that cemented my decision to stay home with my children is the challenge of finding the quality childcare.

There are basically three options of childcare to consider: licensed group childcare; home-based childcare (licensed and unlicensed); and in-home care (Nannies).

What age will your child(ren) be when they require care? Space is often limited for children under two years of age.

How many children do you require care for? Once you have 3 or more children in care, it is often more economical to consider hiring in-home care.

Do you require ‘full-time’care (typically Monday to Friday, 7am to 5pm)? Any flexibility required will affect availability of childcare space.

What are your children’s temperaments? Will they thrive in a large group of same-age children? Do they require an intimate, mixed age-group setting? Are they flexible and able to adapt to new routine easily? Do they need their familiar environment and routine to cope well?

Once you have determined the type of care that works best for your family, how do you secure and maintain quality childcare? There are some obvious and some subtle things/questions to help you determine if the care you are considering is quality – you can visit http://childcare.about.com/od/evaluations/tp/questions.htm and http://www.childcareaware.org/en/child_care_101/5steps.php for some suggestions.

The bottom-line is that licensing does not equate quality. While it should give you piece of mind that a centre or caregiver has met the minimum standards set by licensing, it is ultimately up to the parents to monitor quality of care. I am a huge advocate for childcare licensing, however it is my opinion that the standard set by licensing is 1) difficult to enforce, and 2) a minimum standard that any quality childcare centre should strive to not only meet, but to exceed.

I cannot stress enough: if anything about a care arrangement does not sit right with you, go with your gut. This is a very personal decision, and one of the most important you’ll ever make in your child(ren)’s formative years. Taking the time to strive toward a long-term arrangement for your family will benefit your child(ren) to the utmost.

Most importantly, observe your children in care! Even after all arrangements have been finalized, be sure to re-evaluate how the arrangement is meeting the needs of your family!

Trish McCourt

ECE and mother of 2

Filed Under: Childcare, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »