WEST NOVA FAMILY BLOG

Guest post on Balance My Life

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Check it out! I was asked to contribute an article on Balance My Life.

My Balance is… in acceptance

http://balancemylife.ca/livealias/my-balance-is.html

How about yours?

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Like so many, most of my adult life has been spent spinning – one high-stress situation to the next.

Then I turned a new leaf after nearly a decade of living on edge. I have just begun learning how to function in a state of “normal”. Finally: I’m done school; my new job while meaningful is low-stress (in comparison); I have a supportive spouse settled into our blended life/family; we own our own home; and I am at home to greet my children after school one to two days each week…

I have been in over my head so many times, with my body telling me I had to make a change even when I felt mentally I was coping just fine. I have always struggled with finding balance. I love working, and have a strong desire to be a leader and innovator. On the other hand I also love having time to focus on my family. I have swung on a pendulum between wanting it all and wanting none of “it” – finally coming to the decision that I simply cannot. I cannot have “it” all. I won’t be happy with one extreme or the other. So I made a conscious decision to seek a middle ground: part-time employee and part-time at-home parent.

This was not an easy choice. I had to give up the desire to be in charge (at work). Not being woken for urgent calls, not having to rearrange everything in my life for a crisis at work, not scrambling to get my children taken care of, not having to fix everyone else’s problems… these are benefits to my overall well being that are worth making sacrifices for.

Even in balance, I still frequently stray down that familiar path of needing to be busier, more involved and more successful. I think most of us do at one time or another. I have to reign myself in. In an attempt to cater to my desire for more I have given myself permission to become involved in some personal projects that I can work on at whatever pace works for me at the time. This means when I have too much on my plate the projects take a back seat, and when things slow down – or I have a need for a creative outlet – they are there to pick back up again.

Balance is whatever works for you. If you are a parent: You may thrive on careers and find balance in hiring nurturing caregivers that become part of your family. You may choose not to have children at all. You may choose parenthood over the workforce and might return to a career later in life, if ever. I have chosen a middle ground. I may never make the big goals of my career, but I also will not have regrets about spending more time with my family.

Mostly, balance requires accepting the choices we make,while acknowledging that we are the lucky ones. In Canada, there are few things in life that most of us do not have some sort of choice about.

Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at ceilidho at ceilidhontherun dot com, or use my contact form!

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Filed Under: balance, General, West Nova Family Tagged With: , ,

Therapeutic serenity

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From Family 2011
From Family 2011
Filed Under: Gratitude, Photos, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Losing control & finding your balance

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In the face of uncontrollable challenges balance comes in managing that which can be.

Until recently life was very demanding but manageable. It has since reached my limit with another uncontrollable and emotionally charged journey. My balance came first in recognizing my limits and taking steps to prevent breaching them. A leave from work has allowed me the time I had previously struggled to find to take care of me.

I assured my doctor that the time would be spent wisely, making it a priority to nurture myself while working through all of life’s obligations and desires as a mother, spouse, sister, daughter, homemaker and friend.

When a loved one has a chronic illness and becomes a closer integral part of your immediate nucleus things can and do change drastically. When living arrangements accommodate that there is additional change. Add that to life’s everyday challenges and then another loved one becomes suddenly and seriously ill. It can seem impossible to cope.

We recently faced our loved one’s diagnosis of cancer. Our lives have turned upside down in so many ways, while we grasp at every sense of normalcy that we can. It is too easy to become consumed with the illness, too easy to forget that we are still here together … we must make this our time, now.

Those of you who have been there know how truly it does change your perspective. Life becomes precious. Life becomes finite. Life becomes its meaning. We must experience life with our eyes wide open, with all of our senses receiving and our minds fully aware.

How do you balance life when it creeps out of your control?

From Drop Box

I don’t have the answers. I can only do what feels right for me.

In an attempt to prevent chronic pain from escalating too severely I am pursuing a better daily routine of activity. Each day I try to include something physical, from yoga to fitness classes, to walking (perhaps even a swim or a bike ride). Each day I make time to read and/or write. I have some other projects that I try to fit in once in a while like photography/editing and scrapbooking. It is never enough. But I do my best.

I am watching what I eat, talking with family and friends, and trying to keep my family focused on a healthy balance of living while also trying to fight the devastating effects of this awful disease.

It’s a natural tendency to fall back into the despair, the fear, and the pain… Back into the unfairness of it all. We have to consciously choose to take cancer off the table at times and simply live.

For the benefit of all we must make it a priority to live life.

Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at ceilidho at ceilidhontherun dot com, or use my contact form!

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Filed Under: Cancer, General, Gratitude, Health & Fitness, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , ,

Making the most of our (limited) summer

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Halifax weather has been really helpful lately if you come from the mindset that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Today it was time to finally take advantage of beautiful weather and hit the beach.

We’ve had remarkably few beach weather days so far this summer, and almost all of them have been spent making our house in show condition for sale. Our family of four live in a small three bedroom semi. In May my sister moved back to Nova Scotia and because of her medical condition (brittle Diabetic, and seizures) she shouldn’t live alone. She and her large shepherd/lab moved into our basement rec room until we sell our house and find a bigger one that will accommodate an in-law suite. Hence forth de-cluttering and painting projects en mass.

We had an appointment to view a house that backs onto a greenbelt around a lake (lakefront being our movin’ up requirement for moving now rather than later), at 2pm. So we headed out at 10:30 to give ourselves a couple of hours at the beach. Now, I’m not a “beach day” kind of gal. Granted I have taken my kids to the beach for the day, but I would rather go to the beach for a swim and leave when I’m done, than laze around soaking up the rays. So, we had plenty of time. An hour in the water, and it was heaven. Then an hour of snapping photos while my darling went for a 10k mid-day run on one of our warmest days this summer (no, I was not silly enough to join in on that little escapade).

The beach was packed as expected, but we snagged a great spot to park on the way into the gravel lot. Grabbed our towels and headed for sand. The water was clear, calm and warm (18Celcius for those curious to know what constitutes warm on the Atlantic coast!) We brought wetsuits, which turned out to be unnecessary (my Ian will beg to differ).

When Ian headed out for his run, I, camera in hand started wandering down the beach. I still feel awkward photographing people I don’t know, so I mostly shot clouds and gentle waves and rocks.

There is not much greater feeling of contentment than that of leaving the beach feeling exhausted from splashing around in the water with the sun beating down and warming your towels for when you get out!

Filed Under: General, Gratitude, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Progress in this journey we call life

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After missing so many weeks of writing blog posts, it’s time to make it happen. Perhaps looking at what’s been happening recently will help me to get motivated/inspired or simply able to take action!

Life has gotten really busy, and there is a lot of progress worth noting:

  • we continue the quest to sell our house in order to move into a bigger house with capacity for an in-law suite, on lakefront. This has kept us the busiest, making improvements to the house to make it more sell-able. All are projects that were on our list that we were continuously slogging through. Since listing in May we’ve completed most, taking years off the timeline. There have been many viewings, but so far no bites.
  • My sister is settling in with us and our family is reshaping a little. It’s all good, but it sure would be nice to be done with the viewings and to have more space (and that lake to jump in every morning!)
  • I am officially closing a chapter in my life that brought a lot of heavy emotions and stress, the official documents arrived today, and court issued certificate will come in a few weeks. This is a huge weight lifted that will hopefully allow our family to move forward more.
  • Finally another sega is being closed with a settlement hopefully forthcoming in the near future from my car accident.
  • Working with my RMT, chiropractor/ART, and family physician I am getting back to a more active life, with less pain and feeling (bit by bit) more like myself again
  • I bought a new bike (upright city cruiser), and sold my mountain bike to pay for it. I can now ride without neck or shoulder pain, and have started cycle-commuting again!
  • I am becoming more involved with advocacy efforts once more
  • Contemplating my future and hopefully moving into the career I will grow with
  • with things feeling more settled I am ready for a bigger challenge, full-time work, etc.
Filed Under: General, Gratitude, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Team Diabetes Bluenose 5k: Race day

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(Click for Part 1)

Sunday morning was upon us. I have not been training due to my chronic pain. B has not been training because she’s simply a really busy kid. I’m confident we’ll be fine, we have no time goals, we’re just going to have fun.

Auntie Dana arrives in time to head out for the races with us. She, Ian & Payten will volunteer with Team Diabetes at the final aid station at the finish line, handing out water to the finishers. After pee breaks we make our way to the start and watch the ~1000 marathoners start. It’s truly a remarkable site, all of those runners in one place. Next up are the half marathoners, then we make our way to the Team Diabetes gathering spot, get a pre-race photo taken and wait for our turn.

From Family 2011

The 5K is truly a fun event to participate in. There are runners & walkers, and while waiting for the start there are photo-ops, including with the race mascot Myles. A pre-race warm-up with something like 1500 runners/walkers all attempting to follow an impromptu aerobic routine certainly got everyone into the spirit of things.

From Family 2011
From Family 2011

Breanna was nervous about the race, but she did fantastic. She ran a pretty steady pace most of the course, with only a few breaks to walk or stretch out a tight muscle. She and another Team D participant played tag for the duration of the 5K, whenever one passed the other, leap-frogging along. With just enough challenge to make it feel like a personal accomplishment, we were so happy to have been a part of the Bluenose on behalf of Team Diabetes and my sister. The icing on the cake was having Dana there with Ian & Payten to congratulate us at the finish line!

From Family 2011
Filed Under: Advocacy, Diabetes, Health & Fitness, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , ,

Running for a cause with one of my most precious

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It’s amazing what one can bring themselves to do when it involves a cause one believes in passionately. I have run for Team Diabetes twice before. My involvement was prompted by my sister’s late-in-life (relatively speaking) Type 1 diagnosis. She was 30, her sugars 31. Within two months she began having seizures. It’s been a very difficult battle, with many, many new health complications. All of which interact and effect the other. I signed on with Team D when I was at a complete loss to support her while living on the opposite side of this vast country.

Last year my ten-year-old told me upon finishing that she wanted to run for Team D herself next time. Next time, was this past weekend. Much of the fundraising I was able to do simply by setting up our donation pages and posting frequent details about the event, motivation of our participation, and how to pledge. Everyone expressed their support for her extraordinary drive. Breanna took her pledge sheet door-to-door all by herself and collected donations from the neighbors that she knows. I was proud of her for being willing to step outside her comfort zone and do that all by herself.

Then we were invited to share our story and our “why”, the story behind our support for the cause. We spoke briefly at the pre-race pasta dinner, and as scared as B was, she overcame her nerves and shared a few details about four people she knows who have their own battles with the disease, most importantly her auntie. I probably rambled for too long. I did not prepare notes as it felt like it would be more impressionable if it came directly from the heart. I had to compose myself a few times, but I managed to keep it together and share some of the biggest challenges Dana faces, as well as my desire for people to know how much impact Diabetes can have on a life. So many people have no idea what it can look like.

This was a really great lead up to the race and helped both of us to feel more connected to the larger movement.

(Click for Part 2)

Filed Under: Advocacy, Diabetes, Health & Fitness, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Mom the Vote for our Children

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As we all know, there are very few moms in politics. Granted there are very few women in politics, whether they be moms or no. I have pondered the many reasons why women in our country enter politics far less often than men.

There are so many factors, but I believe the biggest to be the one that stops me short. It is simply far too great a sacrifice of my role as a mother. The long hours, the instability, the travel… Of course today’s men with children at home are making great sacrifices too. That may be why our public offices are filled with grey-haired grandfatherly types.

I don’t think any of the reasons that women are absent on the floors of legislative assemblies are insurmountable. Most of which can be overcome in time. I have to believe that.

Why IS it so critical that women become involved in the legislative process? Why IS it so important to vote? If we DON’T make our voices heard, we will continue to see policies incongruent with the needs and values of families. If we don’t stand up and stick our necks out, we can expect the same old boys’ club to prevail in our political forums.

For me the question has become HOW can I be involved while still maintaining my own family’s balance? Perhaps one day it will seem appropriate to step into the ring. Perhaps one day I will find the solutions I am looking for around how to make it work. In the meantime, I must get involved in some other way.

I have chosen to support two candidates in this federal election. One is the candidate for whom I will vote on Election Day. He’s a fantastic family man with values that closely align with my own. The other is a female candidate from a neighboring riding. Megan Leslie has been a remarkable Member of Parliament and speaks to the values of my family. She is doing what I so wish to see many other women doing.

How exactly can one person support women in politics? How can women, and especially moms, become engaged in the electoral process?

I began with information gathering. I have found this to be time-consuming and at times confusing.

There are many ways to become engaged. Going out to forums to meet the candidates in person, seeing how people present publicly is valuable. But I like to get to know the candidates. They are seeking to serve us and should willingly welcome the opportunity to speak with constituents in person. In the past I always waited for the candidates to come to me, canvassing at my door – only to meet very few this way.

In a federal riding there can be in the vicinity of 70,000 constituents. A federal election campaign lasts 35 days. Realistically, they are not going to make it to my door. But I can go to them! Every candidate has a campaign office. I don’t think you can find a more welcoming place than a campaign office.

Once I identified my pick, I became more engaged by supporting their campaign. There are so many ways to do this, from following their tweets and status updates and sharing with friends, to making campaign donations, and volunteering on the campaign doing anything from data entry to foot and phone canvassing to delivering signs.

As I mentioned before, I am a busy mom. I have two girls age 7 and 10. The only way I could find time to support my candidate(s) was to bring them along. They have helped me stuff envelopes, attended rallies and are a part of the everyday conversation about election activities. I can think of no better way than to encourage better representation of and by women (and their families) than to raise them up to be actively engaged!

Filed Under: Advocacy, Parenting, West Nova Family Tagged With: , ,

Week 1.

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Exhaustion. Aches. And a hint of light peeking from behind the heavy clouds.

I wake every morning in a fog. I’m uncertain whether my pain meds are causing it, or my interrupted sleep (I have an anxious ten-year-old struggling with her own sleep battles). Perhaps it’s the change in routine.

In addition to my extra work day throughout the election campaign… and a little volunteer work on the campaign… I have finally begun a 12 day group program in management of chronic pain. At a time when I need to reduce my outside projects, I am back to a full-time schedule. Most other projects have come to a halt.

3 ½ hours, 3 days/week. We sit and we discuss, we do fitness baseline testing. We learn. We discuss some more.

I have made a commitment to myself that I will walk to/from group and work in order to ensure I get a minimum of 3 days/week of walking in.

By the end of group, my goal is to create a realistic reachable plan for getting back into a regular fitness routine, with as few setbacks along the way as possible.

Goal setting. Caution. Pacing. Self-awareness. Patience. Nutrition. Motivation. Flexibility. Encouragement.

I may need a little help. 🙂

Filed Under: Health & Fitness, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Why I run for Team Diabetes

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My sister is a brittle diabetic.

Since about 2004 my sister Dana has been through a turmoil of information and emotions. For years she had battled illness causing drastic weight loss, and a low immune system. She’s been on a roller coaster with her health. Finally, she seemed to have gotten under control, what appeared to be Candida. After carefully limiting yeasts, carbs and sugars, she was back at a healthy weight and feeling better than in a long time.

The cycle began again. Within a matter of months her weight plummeted 30+ pounds to a level that left many inquiring after her health, and again came an onset of infections. While in a walk-in clinic for bronchitis, she mentioned to the doctor the concern about her weight loss, and low immune system, as well as her observations of being thirsty most of the time, and that she thought she needed new glasses.

In October 2007 Dana learned that she has Type 1 Diabetes. When tested, her sugars were at 29. Dana is and always will be insulin dependent. It is uncommon to be diagnosed Type 1 (or Juvenile Diabetes) outside of childhood. My sister was 30. There have been many, many lifestyle changes for her and a great deal of ongoing learning. Dana experienced her first two seizures (back to back) three months after her diagnosis. Since then she has experienced a multitude of health complications from recurring infections due to her compromised immune system, to kidney problems requiring multiple procedures, drastically fluctuating body weight, wrist and foot complications, vision problems and all of the challenges that come along with accepting this disease for what it is (incurable) and incorporating all of the dramatic changes required to live with it.

At the present time my 34 year old sister is unable to work, live alone, or drive a car on the highway.

After MANY challenges with balancing her blood sugars Dana eventually ended up on an insulin pump. While this has saved her many needles each day, it has not stabilized her blood sugar levels for any significant period of time.

My sister has approximately 10-15 medical practitioners she works with on a regular basis. She sees her family doctor weekly, an endocrinologist, neurologist, urologist, gynecologist, diabetic nurse, social worker, and more. She carries a heavy bag with emergency/back-up supplies of insulin, testing strips and monitor, snacks, water and more with her everywhere she goes. Walking to the mailbox can cause her sugars to plummet. A change in stress levels can cause them to skyrocket. Everywhere she goes she must ask careful questions about the food she eats, watching for sugar content, carbohydrates, as well as her many allergens. She has had to instruct those of us who accompany her places how to recognize when her blood sugars are at dangerous levels and need to be adjusted immediately.

I first ran for Team Diabetes one year after Dana was diagnosed, in 2008 at the Okanagan (Half) Marathon. Last year I ran the Bluenose 10k for Team D. My daughters (and my spouse) are mine and my sister’s biggest cheerleaders. They ran in the youth run at the Bluenose last year, and after they finished my oldest told me that she wanted to run a 5k for Team Diabetes at the next Bluenose event. She is now ten years old and we are signed up to run together.

Please help Breanna and I do something that will have an impact on the life of my sister, my grandfather, my friends Jason and Deborah, and the many other millions of people with Diabetes in Canada.

Follow this link to contribute to our campaign:

http://bit.ly/hyyZub
Filed Under: Advocacy, Diabetes, Health & Fitness, West Nova Family Tagged With: , , ,
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