Life can change in a single moment. Sometimes it takes a long time to see the results.

When I moved my girlies and I “back home” to Nova Scotia, I envisioned my new life as a single mom to be long, arduous, and worth every hardship. I knew that I didn’t want my girls growing up believing that marriage was an institution they had to accept in whatever form it takes. I want them to know that happiness in life is essential. It may not be a steady flow, but in the big picture being happy should be something that one strives for and hopefully achieves overall.

For me that meant leaving a marriage, in which we’d experienced a great deal of heartache. Granted there were many happy times and two wonderful girls that resulted. However, in the grand scheme of things we were not meant to be – not without each sacrificing parts of ourselves that were inherent in our being. I wanted my girls to know that life is more than getting by, even if it means doing so without a life partner at your side.

So I began the grief process. Grieving a dream that wasn’t to be. Shifting my vision in life to the new reality of there not being a whole nuclear family growing old together.

I have wonderful friends who made life so much easier during the initial transition of our new life. And I sought companionship with no desire for partnership at the time.

One thing my marriage taught me, is what is really important to me. I learned what I am not willing to accept. And I know now what I must have in a life partner, if I am going to have one at all. I know I need respect, first & foremost; that I need to see eye to eye with my partner on most (if not all) of the really important things that I value; that I can trust & rely on him; and that we will live our lives in a genuine way, never deceiving ourselves or one another about our thoughts, values or intentions (even when it might not be what the other wants to hear). When I recognized those things in this crazy adventurer that treated me with the respect I deserved and demanded, the timing was irrelevant. I didn’t want to pass the opportunity by.

And so a new life evolved soon after leaving the past behind. This life is never picture-perfect, but it is one in which it is safe to be real – however ugly (or beautiful) that picture might be sometimes.

The journey hasn’t been perfect – at times it’s downright scary. But it is a journey we choose to take with respect. Respect for each of the people involved, respect for the choices we make and for the gravity (& brevity) of life by times, and respect for how quickly things can change.

Everyday we make a conscious choice to continue the journey and hopefully enrich our lives in the process.

This is what I want my children to grow up knowing: That life is far to valuable to waste. That happiness is imperative. And that respect is non-negotiable.