Fear not

What is it they say? “The only thing to fear is fear itself”…
Ironically, fear is one of the biggest causes of failure. Failing to live life to its fullest, failing to try new things, failing to pursue dreams, or to love, even failing at the simple concept of being content/happy… We sometimes allow fear to stop us in our tracks, to paralyze us. And yet, by not risking what we fear, we risk not getting whatever it is that we allow fear to stop us from experiencing.

Fear less pursuit of passion

Fear has a useful place, but it’s generally an overactive instinct. Yes, we can better protect ourselves from life-threatening situations when we listen to our fears. But what place does that really have in trying new things that will allow for growth? It prevents us from learning and developing if we let it stop us from experiencing things with unknown outcomes.

I have been through a lot of painful experiences in my personal, family and work lives. But listening to my fears would only have served to stop me from expanding my knowledge and the depth of feeling that life can bring us.

I have learned a lot about living in the moment and the biggest fear I have today is that I will have regrets. There are few choices I regret making and experiencing. However, I have a few that I regret not making, or having said no to.

One of the biggest dreams I have had is to be self-employed. I have explored it so many times and ways, and I have even taken a few steps toward this dream. What has stopped me, is the fear of failing. Here I am failing to pursue my dreams, because I am afraid it won’t workout. Yet, if I never take the plunge, it never will work.

So, once again I began the process of evaluating my dreams, goals and current situation. As usual I have come to the same conclusion. I will never know until I try if I have it in me to make a life doing what I love. I’ve yet to figure out what steps I am able to take towards my dream, but I know that I will never change where I am at, if I keep doing what I am doing.

I have been soaking up resources that encourage the creative spirit, that provide tools for moving forward, and yet here I sit. Not quite capable of stepping outside the box…

There are reminders everywhere around me that life is short, that we have no idea what tomorrow will bring, or if it will come at all: Memories of my mother whose life ended far too early; Stories of lives changed abruptly because of apocalyptic wildfires.

We have right now, this moment – to live. And I want to live with intention. I want to spend everyday knowing that what I am making the time for is valuable to me. That I am doing what I love or moving towards those things that matter to me in the actions that I take everyday…

Can you say the same?

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2012: 4 weeks gone by! #12er (12in12 challenge) – Day 28

I want to provide a little update on some personal items.

From 2012-01-27

My core values for my life [Joy Equation]

For those who don’t know me outside of this little blogosphere, and for some who do, you may not realize that I have been off work, since before my mother’s passing, on sickness leave. I have a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia. I blogged about it here before, but the general idea is that it’s a disease effecting soft tissue that causes moderate to debilitating pain, depending on many factors. Stress is a huge trigger for pain flare-ups, and things only got worse before they started to get better. It’s been a real battle for me over the past year.

I’ve been working hard at a number of things that I hope will help me get back to a healthy state of being. Most of these activities are things anyone could and likely should do to simply live a better life without regret. Mom taught me that this really is the most important thing to keep in mind in life. Will I regret this one day?

So, the main projects I have been working on towards change in my life are getting back into a regular routine of physical activity, trying to find a healthy way of grieving, bringing more joy into my life, appreciating all of the great things that I have in my life, learning new and better ways of being, and making small accomplishments towards bigger achievements. I’m trying to live each day like it’s my last.

We just never do know.

I signed up for a few challenges this year that I hoped would provide me with some motivation. So far it has worked.

The two big things I am accomplishing right now:

I am nearing the end of a successful first month of the 12in12 challenge, for which my goal in January was to walk 30 mins./day.

I have also been taking a class offered by Molly Mahar about bring more joy into your life. I am completing all of the exercises and really loving the introspection involved. I am going to confidently move forward in my life this year making big happy changes!

The biggest change will likely be one I just made official today. I am starting my own business, which will launch in March. As soon as I have a website to share, I’ll pass it along and fill everyone in! 🙂

So that’s my 4 week update. I’d love to hear yours!

Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at ceilidho at ceilidhontherun dot com, or use my contact form!

I invite you to subscribe to my blog using one of the options available on my page (email, rss, Google Connect, like my page on Facebook, etc.)

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